


oh no, i think i'm catching feelings

by sapphiczatannas



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Friends With Benefits, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-07
Updated: 2016-09-07
Packaged: 2018-08-13 18:41:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7982029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphiczatannas/pseuds/sapphiczatannas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If there is one thing Artemis knows with absolute certainty, it is that this situation is entirely unfair. </p><p>(In which Artemis and Zatanna are just having sex, but Artemis wants to be more than friends.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	oh no, i think i'm catching feelings

**Author's Note:**

> **notes:** it's mentioned that this takes place a couple of years after the team is formed, but i don't specify exactly when. you can choose when it is set for yourselves.
> 
>  **other pairings/characters:** both dick/zatanna and dick/wally are minor pairings in this (the former is assumed to be mutual and the latter one-sided by artemis, considering this is in her point of view). no characters other than artemis and zatanna are directly in the fic, and no other characters than dick and wally are mentioned.
> 
>  **warnings:** heavy angst, mild sexual content and swearing.

If there is one thing Artemis knows with absolute certainty, it is that this situation is entirely unfair. Unfair not because Zatanna, in a far too revealing dress and with lips painted a couple shades too dark for her lighter skin, has her face buried in Artemis’ neck, smearing red lipstick across her skin and decorating the upper part of her chest with bite marks (thank God for her high-necked costume, otherwise she’d need layers of concealer to cover them up). No, it was unfair because even with this, with desperate kisses and their bodies pressed tightly together, Artemis understood, as she had done for as long as this - whatever she had with the pretty dark-haired girl hovering over her - had gone on, that Zatanna was not and never going to be hers.

 

Artemis had her suspicions. Too loud laughs and obvious flirting was all it took for her to realise that yes, a certain magic user and a certain boy wonder had huge, clear crushes on each other. The two of them were so evidently infatuated with each other that their affection lit up smiles on both of their faces that could honestly blind a man, and Artemis could swear that it was one of the mushiest things she’d ever seen. It would have been slightly cute too, if the grin on Zatanna’s face didn’t make Artemis want to punch the wall till her knuckles bled. And every time, she’d turn to her side and find Wally, fucking always irritatingly happy Wally, with that stupid smirk still present on his face, but she’d look into his eyes and only find dull green and such painfully obvious defeat and something akin to heartbreak.

 

Artemis would be lying if she said that, along with the fact that he could make Zatanna practically turn into the sun when she just couldn’t (and probably never would, knowing her luck), didn’t make her hate Robin just a little bit. But never Zatanna.  _ God _ , Artemis could never hate her, even if she fucking wanted to. She wonders if it’s the same for the ginger too - if he looks over at Robin and lets his eyes trail over dark skin and darker hair and can’t help but  _ melt _ , even as his entire being aches. That’s how it is for her, after all (pining and wanting and needing through hurt - staring a little too long at bright blue eyes and fishnet-covered legs and hating herself for not being good enough for such a beautiful girl, not being what Zatanna really, truly wants - but never, never,  _ never _ hating Zatanna), and their situations are almost identical, an imperfection falling for perfection (at least, that was it for her - and she imagined Wally felt the same from his point of view).

 

The weight on Artemis’ lap shifts and Artemis snaps back to reality, to the girl seated on her legs, soft skin pressing against the scattering of scars on her thighs, and her mood is sour, her brow furrowed, despite what should be a pleasing moment. ‘ _ Wow.’  _ She thinks to herself, almost raising an eyebrow at the tangents her mind is following.  _ ‘Thinking about Kid Idiot just before you’re about to have sex is a great way to get into the mood. Good job, Artemis.’  _ She needs to focus on this, the moment, Zatanna in all her glory - but this always happens, Artemis always thinks too hard or too little during her time with the other. It’s one of the former days now, when all she can wonder is if this is what is best, if this is what she needs, is this what she deserves.

 

_ ‘Is this what Zatanna wants? Is this even what I want?’  _ She questions, her mind moving fast and the world blurring to her again. Artemis doubts she’ll ever know the real answer to the former question - Zatanna clearly wants something (that something being an easy way to soothe her desires), but does she want her?  _ No, no, no  _ \- that is all Artemis can muster as her own answer - because who in their right mind who was as amazing and wonderful and powerful as Zatanna would want someone like her? Just a broken mess, all bitter words and sharp edges and prominent smirks. Zatanna has magic running in her veins, can speak a few words backwards and suddenly the world will bend to her will, and all Artemis can do is shoot a bow. It’s almost pitiful in comparison, and only serves to highlight how wrong they are for each other in Artemis’ eyes. And Artemis wants Zatanna - wants her so goddamn much, so much that she can’t even handle it on a good day, let alone a bad one, wants her more than she’s ever wanted anything - but is the pain worth it? Is letting this continue when it will inevitably lead to her just being fucked over the best option? No, no it isn’t, because maybe she’ll know what it feels like to hold Zatanna in her arms and maybe she’ll know what it’s like to thread hands through thick strands of hair and maybe she’ll know what those plump lips taste like, but her want will never be satisfied. Zatanna will just walk away and that will be the end of it and Artemis will never forget and never let go.

 

_ ‘And then I’ll end up just like Kid Mouth.’’  _ Longing for years over a person who will never be hers. Artemis is observant, she watches and pays attention and she knows how long the speedster has been waiting and loving, with lingering touches and soft glances from the very start. They’d been a team for so many years now, and Wally was still in far too deep, and Artemis did not want to be like that her entire life, because no matter how much she loved Zatanna, begging the world to let her have the other would never be something she could suffer through. Begging every day, every night for weeks, months, years, Artemis could not survive that and-

 

“Arty.” Zatanna’s voice is soft, as usual, but there is an edge of concern to it that brings Artemis back, her eyes blinking open to concerned blue orbs and fluttering black lashes, high cheekbones that she could easily reach up and touch with trembling fingers and smooth skin she can already imagine the tips of said fingers running over, feeling just like silk under her rough hands. Zatanna’s face is simply like an open book, her worry evident on each and every inch, from the pursing of her  _ (red, pretty, curved)  _ lips  _ (which Artemis wants to devour, craving the feeling of them pressing hard and desperate against her own)  _ to the press of  _ (long, delicate, gentle)  _ fingers against Artemis’ cheeks  _ (fingers tracing and trailing down over the ridges of the blonde’s face, right down to Artemis’ neck, just close enough that the other could dig into bites and bruises and feel the rise as she swallows under Zatanna’s touch) _ . The other dips down, hair falling over her shoulders and onto Artemis’ own, a clash of light and dark, and she presses a quick kiss to the side of her mouth that leaves her breathless (an almost effortless task on Zatanna’s part), before continuing her query. “You okay?”

 

 _No. No, I’m not okay. I’m in love with you and your everything and I just want you to be mine._ Artemis thinks to herself, peering up into blue, blue eyes. _I just want to be yours. But I can’t._ But she doesn’t say that. She likely never will, if she is being honest with herself (honest for once in her goddamn life). So, instead, she slips her hand under the lace of Zatanna’s dress and covers her hip with her hand (carving marks into warm skin with the curve of her nails), trailing another hand through sleek hair and tugging, pulling at black strands, and murmuring against her mouth. So, she lies. “I’m fine.”

 

Either Zatanna doesn’t notice the way Artemis’ voice wavers or trails off uncertainly, or she chooses not to question it, as she grins against her lips, an animalist grin that reminds the blonde of a predator hunting it’s vulnerable, weak prey, sending shivers down her spine just at the sight. She’s left feverish by fervent and intense kisses (teeth biting and pulling at her bottom lip), burning hot by nails that trace and dig in patterns on her collarbones (scratching and cutting and hurting so  _ good _ ). She drowns herself in it, in the passion that causes sparks between the two of them, and she tries to forget.

 

_ ‘Lose yourself, Artemis. Don’t think. Just feel.’ _

 

_ (Soon this will change. Zatanna will be the one pinned, her wrists trapped and pinned by scarred hands, and Artemis will be pressing kisses to unblemished skin, biting at the other’s pulse point. Marks will be left on every inch of her neck, marks Artemis hopes she won’t cover up, marks Artemis’ knows that will be hidden - maybe with make up, that Artemis helps her smooth over her skin, red and purple and blue disappearing with a brush of her fingers, all evidence of their affair gone, something that makes her fists clench and her twitch with irritation. Or maybe this time it will be with a stolen jumper, one of Artemis’ own, a situation that Artemis yearns for - Zatanna drowning in a green hoodie or a silver sweatshirt, her hands covered by the long fabric, a sign of possession that she knows Zatanna will only play off as friends sharing clothes, as she always does.) _

 

_ (Soon this will speed up. Layers will be lost in the haze caused by kisses that intoxicate and touch that makes Artemis feel drunk on pleasure. She’ll attempt to awkwardly pull her tank top off, chuckling as Zatanna giggles at the sight, forgetting for just a second. The other will grab her hand before pulling her down for a laughter-filled kiss, as she shoves her shorts off with one hand, and they’ll lose themselves in even more kisses before Zatanna utters those heavenly words, “em sserdnu”, and her breath will be stolen away. A flush will climb it’s way up Artemis’ neck, of course, as the moments follow, but she’ll lose herself, as she always does.) _

 

_ (Soon this will stop. Hips will stutter and Artemis will have to bury her face into the pillow and bite down, otherwise the entirety of the team will hear her embarrassingly loud moans. She’ll be sweaty but satisfied, her bra half off and stuck to her skin, collapsing onto her side with Zatanna’s arms wrapped loosely around her waist. Kisses will be scattered over the dip of her back as she settles back into Zatanna’s chest, fingers running over her stomach and pulling her closer. They’ll lay, in silence, and neither will speak, neither will utter a word. Artemis will allow herself to fall asleep, feeling warm and happy and loved for just a while, and Zatanna will follow after, as she always does.) _

 

_ (Soon, this will be treated as if it never happened. Artemis will wake up cold, huddled under covers and lacking the comfort of Zatanna’s open, comforting arms, her dress gone from the floor and the only evidence left of their tryst the lipstick painting her neck and the rustled sheets. She’ll find herself walking into the shower, mindless, running on habit, washing away the make up and the mess. Her disheveled hair will be tied up in a ponytail, brushed straight, and her love bites - marks she dug her nails into to make them last longer, last longer than just a week or so, marks that make her feel like she is Zatanna’s - will be hidden by one of her many turtlenecks. And she’ll walk out her room and find her love laughing with Robin. And she’ll look over at Wally and meet his eyes and they’ll share a sympathetic glance.  And she’ll pretend to laugh and she’ll fake a smile, as she always does.) _

 

_ (Soon, it will happen again.) _

 

_ (And again.) _

 

_ (And again.) _

 

_ (As it always does.) _

 

_ (And Artemis knows, one day, it won’t. She knows one day Zatanna will stare up at the ceiling and utter those nine words - “We can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry, Artemis. Really.” or something to that nature - and deep inside, Artemis will know it’s for the best, know that she won’t be lead along anymore, but she’ll not want to stop it. Zatanna took her heart and she doesn’t want her to give it back, even as Zatanna will tell her it was nothing, in the end. Artemis imagines that to her, it was just a game, that they were just having sex - but it was never that to her. It was love. Fucking heart wrenching love. And Zatanna will leave and Artemis will bury her face into her pillow and cry herself to sleep.) _

  
_ (“I caught feelings for a girl who’ll never love me back,” she will say to no one, murmuring her heartbreak into the air, hoping for relief and for Zatanna to love her back. “And I don’t know how to forget her.”) _

**Author's Note:**

> i'm so happy i finally got this done!! this my first young justice fic, so i'm kind of nervous posting it, but it think it's decent enough? at least, i hope it is. i was hoping my first snaibsel fic wouldn't be angsty because we are sincerely lacking full on fluff for these two (and any type of fanfic really), but it seems i can only write sad things. oh well.
> 
> this was based on the song 'sex' by eden (which you can listen to [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3NHem937Xs)), which is one of my favourite songs at the moment (please listen to it; hearing it will probably add to the fic - and also it happens to just be really, really good). it is also where the title comes from. the fic doesn't follow the song exactly, but it was the major inspiration behind this.
> 
> you can also find this over [here](http://sapphiczatannas.tumblr.com/post/150089394022/oh-no-i-think-im-catching-feelings) on tumblr, just in case your prefer that format.


End file.
